My Ignorance- Humility- Ego
The uselessness that place reeks of; it's abundantly present on each new day and there's no possible way of evading it whatsoever. At the time of passion it was for the sake of finding independent drive in a direction where nothing can be pointed to as the cause but myself. I very much hate the feeling when others feel that they somehow have a dramatic effect on my decisions; that fake empowerment it gives them. I feel like they become flattered by it after they realize it, and then that suddenly makes me want to turn the other direction or attempt to point out that such is not the case: you were not the cause so don't have such imaginary power in your hands to wield at your disposal.
What difference does that make for me to point that out to even the self? My ignorance grabs hold every time I have a thought placed evenly together, the puzzle pieces all aligned to form a coherent concept. My ignorance strikes hold because the other self who's involved in the above paragraph could have many other thoughts that diverged to the point that opens up the spring of physical emotional views; the "I" (of the Taylor subject) immediately responds via thought that their response was based on my previous actions and the underlying meanings pertaining to them; they must think my action was coerced in from their experiences (believing it rubbed off on me).
How much of a liar to myself I am to think that their actions of the past didn't contribute to the present course. Example: Julie drinks water. Taylor then proceeds to get water and wants to assure Julie that it was not by her course of actions that led his.
Now I am seriously deluding myself as much as the theist deludes herself into thinking God traces her every thoughts. I must accept that people's acts in the past have accumulated and resulted in my current action. No matter what takes place, all my actions are attributed to Julie drinking water. Her act actually participated in my decision to go to the DMV today. Now critics might state, "Your starting point was of delusion and now your stretching it even further?". Instead of boring myself with the complete response I'll say that the experiences compound on another and therefore play a role in the one currently in my mind's crossroads of choice. (I don't go into detail of why it does because it would be made into a long essay that I don't feel like writing on at 1am and because, what could I possibly get from it? I guess I should explain it tomorrow to clear my conscience)
This then boils down to my-self being unwilling to give such pleasure to the other, the Julie in my example. It's so unbecoming of individuals to puff their chests out in subtlety or obviousness. In either case, it embarrasses me to just witness that reaction take place; their behavior expresses the lack of humility and instead, pride is built up for a certain amount of time and then fueled to produce this effect. My mind races to come up with a quick action solution to wash away their poor behavior, quickly alter the subject, or just make a mental note.
What difference does that make for me to point that out to even the self? My ignorance grabs hold every time I have a thought placed evenly together, the puzzle pieces all aligned to form a coherent concept. My ignorance strikes hold because the other self who's involved in the above paragraph could have many other thoughts that diverged to the point that opens up the spring of physical emotional views; the "I" (of the Taylor subject) immediately responds via thought that their response was based on my previous actions and the underlying meanings pertaining to them; they must think my action was coerced in from their experiences (believing it rubbed off on me).
How much of a liar to myself I am to think that their actions of the past didn't contribute to the present course. Example: Julie drinks water. Taylor then proceeds to get water and wants to assure Julie that it was not by her course of actions that led his.
Now I am seriously deluding myself as much as the theist deludes herself into thinking God traces her every thoughts. I must accept that people's acts in the past have accumulated and resulted in my current action. No matter what takes place, all my actions are attributed to Julie drinking water. Her act actually participated in my decision to go to the DMV today. Now critics might state, "Your starting point was of delusion and now your stretching it even further?". Instead of boring myself with the complete response I'll say that the experiences compound on another and therefore play a role in the one currently in my mind's crossroads of choice. (I don't go into detail of why it does because it would be made into a long essay that I don't feel like writing on at 1am and because, what could I possibly get from it? I guess I should explain it tomorrow to clear my conscience)
This then boils down to my-self being unwilling to give such pleasure to the other, the Julie in my example. It's so unbecoming of individuals to puff their chests out in subtlety or obviousness. In either case, it embarrasses me to just witness that reaction take place; their behavior expresses the lack of humility and instead, pride is built up for a certain amount of time and then fueled to produce this effect. My mind races to come up with a quick action solution to wash away their poor behavior, quickly alter the subject, or just make a mental note.
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